


we could colonize the night

by yikestozier



Series: in the bittersweet people tend to only remember the bitter [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Blood and Injury, Don't Read This, Gross, References to Depression, Teeth, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, i think, mentions, this is short and shit, vent fic, why am i postingthese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27184804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yikestozier/pseuds/yikestozier
Summary: He had never liked brushing his teeth, always found it too time consuming and annoying. He hardly did it even as a child if he could get away with it, and once he was old enough he could ruin his body if he wanted because he could make most of his own decisions, he basically stopped entirely.Not 100%, he still wanted to keep his teeth, or at least most of them. So he had a strategy.
Series: in the bittersweet people tend to only remember the bitter [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984351
Kudos: 4





	we could colonize the night

Depression was a bitch. That was obvious to everyone, even those who thought it was “all in his head”. 

Most days he couldn't shower and food and drinks we're always strewed about his bedroom floor, he was always tired despite sleeping what felt like almost constantly. It hurt to piss his friends off. Always hearing ignorant things he never bothered to correct. 

He had never liked brushing his teeth, always found it too time consuming and annoying. He hardly did it even as a child if he could get away with it, and once he was old enough he could ruin his body if he wanted because he could make most of his own decisions, he basically stopped entirely. 

Not 100%, he still wanted to _keep_ his teeth, or at least most of them. So he had a strategy. 

Gingivitis was a close friend of Wilbur's. Every now and then it came after a few months of not brushing his teeth, and when it did, Wilbur would brush his teeth. Only for a week or so straight, just enough to get rid of it. And then he would stop.

The strategy repeats. He never gets used to the blood stained to his toothbrush. But the strategy works for years.

But, eventually, he fell off. He stopped caring and was too tired to pay any thought to the enamel. He begins to feel holes form in his cheek. They hurt, but it's okay. It was his fault, he couldn't be mad. He could just get up and solve the problem right now if he wanted. But he doesn't. He finds himself digging his tongue into the holes. 

He has to see it to the end now, he _can’t_ be mad.

It doesn't help that he almost likes the yellow of his teeth, plaque coating them visibly, and how uneven and disgusting they were. His breath wasn't a problem, he didn't talk to anyone in person anymore. 

His teeth were almost a unique part of him. He liked how people would pretend they didn't notice. He liked how they made him look youthful and reckless still; chaotic. 

He gets migraines often now. He wonders if he took better care of himself, they’d go away. Maybe then he would stop thinking he's dying every time he pulls a muscle. 

(He doesn't move often, so when he does he pulls muscles frequently. One time he thought his appendix had burst and he would have to sit there as still as possible and slowly die because it hurt too much to move; maybe his chronic stomach pain would stop as well.)

As he thinks this, he feels the familiar feeling of pain in his abdomen. He rolls in his bed, clutching his stomach. _Maybe_. He supposes he'll never know. 

He digs his tongue into the holes again. It’s almost a good pain, his tongue always being drawn back once leaving.

He’s burnt through the bed and now he must sleep in the mud, he thinks.

And so he does. Perhaps he’ll get around to brushing his teeth, at least enough to get rid of the holes and stop new ones from forming before they corrode through his cheeks.

But, ultimately, he knows he won’t.

**Author's Note:**

> i am Fine idk why i’m posting theseeee


End file.
